Diana Ross – a lesson learned…

If Dear Old Diana Ross was a fledgling starlet breaking into the music world nowadays she would probably be called Dizza and rapping along to some inane tosh. However, she made her mark in the golden days of Motown and became a signing legend. She was also ahead of her time and offered the occasional word of wisdom. One question she posed in her lyrics was very poignant last Saturday; “Do you know where you’re going to?” has never been more relevant.

The preparation for last Saturday was less than ideal and the product of bad preparation was evident in a dire first half. Dan McNally, seemingly the wiser of the two, was at the ground early, but alas it was Old Shoot’s ground up the road and it took him somewhat longer to figure out than one would expect from a grammar school boy. James Head, having been visiting Portsmouth for reasons we care not to divulge, was delayed by whatever British Rail is now called and being behind the times spent part of Saturday afternoon at Charlton Park’s old ground. Skipper Ian Stephens found himself the wrong side of the Blackwall Tunnel (shopping???) and made it to the ground ten minutes before the game was due to kick off. Mr McNally, having spent far too long on a bar stool at Old Shoots and seemingly far too long on a bar stool somewhere else the night before turned his ankle in the warm up and was out of action until the start of the game (or the second half restart in his brother’s opinion). Apart from that, preparation was ideal.

With James Head doing his Michael Palin impersonation, Sidcup were in need of a front row miracle. As if by magic, rather like the shop keeper from Mr Benn, Liam Frondigoun appeared lurking on a bar stool in the clubhouse (hardly a rare event) and swiftly volunteered his services. At the ground, Coach Jackson shuffled the team accordingly like the American Senate juggling the economy, having to take one of his boots off to make sure we had fifteen players. And so to the first half…

There are many great maxims for dealing with occurrences like the team’s first half performance: “Some things in life are better left unsaid…Let sleeping dogs lie… to err is human… there ain’t no party like an S Club party”. Great words of wisdom, I am sure you will agree. And we could slate various moments of madness and ineptitude, but where does that leave us? Suffice to say, by half time Sidcup were 34 – 0 down and in need of shooting.

Coach Jackson was honest in his half time talk, no greater euphemism than that can be used and shuffled his side again a la Paul Daniels, but without the able assistance of Debbie McGee. It was pointed out that if you are putting players on, you need to take players off and after some frantic mental arithmetic Sidcup were ready to restart. The shuffle included Chris Neal returning from the back row to the right wing in place of Alan Crook, James Head moving to the back row, Dan Watson coming in at scrum half for a slightly croggy Matteo Stamato (who has taken a hell of a ponding so far this season behind the pack) and some other swapping around. Well, you can’t keep track of everything.

Sidcup kicked off (something they had done often in the first half) and James Head chased the kick and immediately flattened the catcher (something Sidcup had not done in the first half). Years ago, Sidcup’s coach was an ex England colt called Barry “Boggit” Burrows. Myself and Barry rarely saw eye-to-eye: I had two, he had one, but he did give me one piece of advice that stuck with me. In eighty minutes of rugby you can do one thing that may change the course of a game. Too many people miss a tackle, drop a pass and screw up and then talk themselves out of the rest of the game. 80 minutes is not a long time in the general scheme of things, but on a rugby pitch it can seem like an eon and one tackle, one break or well-placed kick can cause the opposition to rethink and place doubt and even fear were confidence and calm once ruled.

Sidcup were a different machine in the second half. Having been awarded a scrum from the kick off, Sidcup maintained their position in the opponents half by applying pressure where previously Charlton Park had been given room to think and plan. Floyd, Head and Hanky were everywhere in the loose, with Head especially enjoying being set free from the front row. His replacement in his previous berth of hooker was Liam Frondigoun was a revelation. His pace around the pitch was phenomenal for someone with such little legs (a passing resemblance to Scrappy Doo has been commented upon), his set piece play included taking at least one against the head which is probably unheard of at Charlton Park and we are sure once he gets the gist of the lineout codes he will excel there as well.

The Sidcup pack had some torrid intervals at scrum time in the first half, losing Andy Hind Jnr on the half hour to an ankle injury (allegedly a RSI caused by years of auditioning for River Dance)and with Scott McLean and Matt Simmonds coping admirably against a very well drilled front row. The second half saw a marked improvement with the Sidcup front rows superior fitness coming to the fore. No one has ever written that of Scott McClean and Matt Simmonds before. The home sides rolling maul had also been a thorn in Sidcup’s side, but some ten minutes into the second half the visitors demonstrated one of their own and having tied up the fringe defence Dan Watson (scrum half, fly half and harem-keeper) broke blind to feed Charlie May who scored in the corner. Edwards, much to the surprise of those who were paying attention, converted from out wide.

Sidcup were finally showing signs of life, competing in greater numbers at the breakdown and applying themselves more rigorously. Charlton Park were by no means out of the game but at least Sidcup were giving them something to think about. Watson seemed to be enjoying his role at scrum half, demonstrating a powerful kicking game for someone with chicken legs, a surprising turn of pace for a man in his state of health and a willingness to annoy his opponent at every available opportunity. Head was demonstrating some very direct runner skills for a man who has no sense of direction when it comes to finding the away ground. The McNally brothers were finally getting some ball to work with and looking more and more sober as the game carried on.

Neal was finding space on the right wing and produced some powerful runs, one of which resulted in a try, albeit for the opposition. Good work from the forwards had allowed the backs to spin the ball wide, Neal cut onside on a good angle to evade the first line of defence but alas was caught by the ensuing cover. Support was a tad slow to him, partly through shock and the ball bobbled between two Sidcup players before being fly-hacked clear by the Charlton Park winger only for the ball to bounce up into his hands and he ran unchallenged from the half way line under the posts. Ok, Ian Stevens was chasing him but he was still pretty much unchallenged.

This setback did not spell the end for Sidcup and they continued to fight manfully for every ball and every yard. Again, Charlton Park were fortunate with a bounce and able to spin the ball wide and somehow score. Ok, at 34 – 0 down I stopped taking notes. Again, Sidcup gained good ground and won quick ball from an attacking lineout on the opposition’s 22’. Edwards ran a great line, drawing the midfield towards him before feeding Neal on the diagonal who burst through on line, only to cut back into the fullback and trip over him. Watson broke from a scrum and confounded many around him by driving through three tacklers before collapsing in a heap on the floor exhausted.

In the dying minutes of the game, Charlton Park had attacked down the right flank and Sidcup were defending a maul in their 22’. Somehow, like a Titan emerging from massed ranks of lesser mortals, Tom McNally appeared with ball in hand and three defenders hanging onto him. He stormed ten metres up the pitch before putting up an almighty high ball for his forwards to chase. Obviously, only one did and Steve Hancox fielded the ball as it bounced between the Charlton Park fullback and winger (our own guys could not have done it better). Steve ran a delightful angled line to drag the cover across before flicking an audacious reverse pass into the path of scrum half Watson to run onto and show a clean pair of heels to score. Ever-ready Edwards Converted... or it may have been Watson. Who cares?

So, every cloud does indeed have a silver lining, which is good news unless you are a werewolf. Liam Frondigoun had an impressive run out and both Dan Watson and James Head made excellent immediate impact when they came on. Generally, after an atrocious first half, the team regrouped and played some attractive rugby. As a team, we learn more from our defeats than our victories and Saturday was hopefully a lesson we can learn from. But as old Boggit said, God rest his soul, you can change the game in seconds. Don’t right yourself off because of one bad day; all the players in this squad have a hell of a lot more to show and there will be some excellent and highly skilled rugby to come this season.