Lordswood, Gentlemen Wouldn't

A new season, a new beginning… the traditional approach of appointing a third team captain and leaving him in the lurch to get a team together, run around before a game filling water bottles, getting valuables boxes, finding practise balls, match balls, putting the kit out, first aid kits, greet the opposition, greet the referee and make phone calls/send texts to players who a tad tardy in their time keeping… are a now a think of the past. Now, we have three folks involved in the process and yet it still doesn’t get any easier! The 3’s have a new skipper this year in the genial and charming Ian Stephens. To Ian’s Ying, there must be a Yang and this is brought to us in the guise of 3rd team coach Barry Jackson (think “Reverend” Ian Paisley, but with a less dulcet tone) and lastly “team manager” Gerry Egan, who seems intent on wandering about denying knowledge of anything. After more behind-the-scenes work in meetings, texts, e-mails and phone calls than are occurring to sort out the Syria situation, a team finally took to the pitch.
The side that took the field consisted of five vets lingering around in the pack, several chaps returning to Sidcup after a season or more off and a youthful backline who seemed surprised that men that old still tried to play rugby. Early exchanges on the pitch where both fierce and frantic but there was too much good natured banter among returning players and spectators on the side line to take any notice (it is a joy to see so many old faces all focused on taking the pee out of Andy Hind). A hamstring tweak saw John Crook crooked early on and so Louis Keeley was thrown into the fray a heck of a lot earlier than he would have liked. Having gained the upper hand in the early set pieces, the Sidcup scrum was disrupted by the loss of Sidcup centurion, former 1st team and club captain Iain Wilson from the front row with a shoulder injury. At this stage the scrums went “uncontested”, possibly the only part of the game that was so including the referees decisions. From an unchallenged platform, Lordswood superior bulk was used effectively off the back row and through the centers, whilst the aging Sidcup backrow and scrumhalf wheezed their way about the pitch. Lordswood took the lead at some stage, but the crowd was too focused on bantering avec Le Hind to know how.
With the uncontested scrums working in the visitors’ favour, drastic measures were need. In times of adversity, sacrifices need to be made and acts of heroism are required. A hushed field heard a well-spoken West Country accent ask the referee and the opposition if the scrums could know be contested...? All were in agreement, the opposition rather keenly and the next scrum saw the visitors send backwards at a rate of knots! The hero of the hour was vets centre and former “My Tractor Monthly’s Model” Neil Watkins, turning back time to the days when scrums could be an inch off the ground and second-rows jumped unaided to catch the ball in the lineout. The new scrum laws had caused concern before the game, but the old laws of the offside line, staying on your feet and dissent seemed to be causing the visitors enough problems. From one such infringement, Sidcup scrum half Dicky Leamon, still smarting from not being chosen as the new Dr Who despite growing some rather audacious side burns, took a quick tap penalty and combined well with No. 8 Whitford and flankers Burke and Hancox to head towards the try line. Such good inter-passing had worked well previously in the game, but with the lack of pace of the aforementioned four something extra was needed. The mark of a good captain is that he knows how to change a game and thus Stephens ran a line from the wing of such precision and accuracy Mengler would have been proud and scored under the post. Watson (D, the young and less Wombilian of the clan) added the conversion.
Thus, a tense of often feisty first half finshed with the hone side 7 – 5 to the good.

Coach Jackson’s half time speech was something Sir Winston would have been proud of, though none of the team or subs understood it. A few tactical changes were made and the second half began with Sidcup playing down the slight slope with the wind in their favour. A delightful long kick off from Dan Watson pinned the visitors in the left hand corner and so began a succession of lineouts, penalties, lineout, penalty. The offside rule does take a bit of getting used to, especially if you watch the All Blacks where no referee is allowed to enforce said rules upon Richie McCaw (see IRB ruling 67421 – McCaw can stand where he likes.) Sidcup eventually moved the ball from a line out into midfield, sucking in both attackers and defenders and whence a penalty was awarded were the quicker on the feet. Leamon ran at the heart of the defence , Whitford ran/staggered a confusing line to pass to Watson, who took on two defenders before teeing up Whitford again to collapse over the line in the corner. 12 – 5 to “The Cup”.
The score seemed to inspire the visitors and the game flowed more freely. After a brief interlude of “you kick it to me and I’ll kick it back to you”, the visitors launched a counter attack from their own twenty two, spinning the ball wide and stretching the home defence to breaking point. Facing a two on one situation, winger Stamato confused the opposition but feigning being cross-eyed, thus causing the attackers to lose concentration for a moment before he tackled both of them into touch to save a certain try. The Sidcup lineout was developing a familiar pattern; Lift Hanky (Steve Hancox, not the “we are surrendering variety”) throw ball at Hanky’s nadgers, hope Hanky catches. This worked surprisingly well and Sidcup were soon back in the visitors 22 for another round of lineout, penalty, lineout, etc… Eventually, with former 1st hooker Maz replacing the excellent Watkins at hooker, Sidcup formed a powerful and well-coordinated catch and drive, twisting one way then the other, befuddling the visitors defence for some 20 metres before the referee awarded the try and second row Neil Smith emerged from the melee, somewhat squashed, with the ball. Sidcup 17 – Lordswood 5.
The game ebbed and flowed; Sidcup having the better of most of the set pieces and Lordswood getting frustrated at not getting the hands on the ball and resorting to various infringements to prevent conceding further points. Various changes were made, both tactical and injury based. From a mark called in their 22, Lordswood again moved the ball across the pitch causing Leamon to suffer a “quad strain” possibly caused by having to run more than 5 metres and risk making a tackle. With numerical advantage again, Lordswood were thwarted by an excellent tackle from fullback Louis Keeley, who then added to their woes by being straight up out of the tackle again and flattening the next attacker. With young Watson moving to scrum half the back line was reshuffled, and Tom McNally finally agreed to get on the pitch as long as he didn’t have to run too far. With Leamon now off the pitch, the Sidcup backs were allowed to see more of the ball and as both sides fatigued the game became more open, but the visitors could not break the Sidcup defence without dropping the ball and Sidcup’s attack were often thwarted by infringements. As the heat and emotion started to get to the visitors, an unpleasant verbal exchange between some of the visitors and the long-suffering referee who after awarding 4 ten metre penalties for abusive language was left with no option but to award the home side a penalty try. Possibly the first of its kind at Sidcup, but either way Watson gleefully converted and the final whistle blew.
Mentions in dispatches go to Nicky King for his experience at Tight-head making life unpleasant for the visitors’ front row and for Dave Camble for risking his good looks and converting from the second row to Loosehead. Neil Smith, Watkins, Burkey and Fozzy all worked tirelessly in the second row and the linking and ball securing efforts of Hancox at the breakdown ensured the home side had plenty of second phase ball. Matt Floyd brought some relative youth and pace to the back row and demonstrated some selfless tackling and dog work. The first half back combination of Leamon and Watson spanned the age divide and Stuart Isaacs proved not only is his better-looking than his brother, but also that he is a very gifted players in his own right. Nat Scales enjoyed a baptism of fire on his debut making the move up from academy rugby and dealt with all that was asked of him with aplomb and had the reliable, effervescent and well-tanned Charlie May on the wing to call upon when needed. It was a very physical game with a lot of infringements and frustrations, however discipline from the Sidcup side was exemplary in the face of a tide of provocation and at least we managed to run some cobwebs off after the summer break.
Sidcup Side:
Keeley, May, Isaacs, Scales, Crook, D Watson, D Leamon
Camble, I Wilson, King, Smith, Burke, Hancox, Watkins, Whitford
Subs:
Stamato, Stevens, McNally, Floyd, Fozzy, Maz (T Wicks)
GE 10/09/13