Sidcup on that try line bling

Sidcup on that try line bling/that can only mean that we beat Tring
(Written by Slim Brady)

Saturday the 11th February will be remembered by everyone at Crescent Farm as a great day for attacking and (most importantly) winning rugby by both Sidcup XVs and of course our national team. It was Sidcup 2nd XV who would get the day rolling with the 2pm kick off, early enough for Slim Brady to have to set an alarm at the ungodly hour of 10am but alas, not late enough for Freddie Ruff to reach the ground at the agreed meet time. There was a danger with this game being a friendly, away from the side’s unbeaten league and cup runs, that Sidcup may have taken this task lightly. Strong words from Captain Cooper and other senior players before the warm up in the team meeting quickly dispelled any notion that a dangerous and large Tring outfit would be taken lightly.

Sidcup began brightly, a superb hanging restart from Admiral Hardy causing chaos amongst the Tring ranks as though it were a claret and white grenade. A dominant first scrum and superb pressure on the kicker showed Sidcup’s intent to physically compete and even edge a large away pack with similar ideas of dominance. Phase after phase of strong carrying and slick passing from the Sidcup team quickly melted any unthawed ice on the pitch and it seemed a case of when, not if, Sidcup would cross the line and get the first score. However, Tring delivered a vicious counter punch when a loose pass was read by a Tring winger, who proceeded to run the length of the field and score. Disappointed but never panicking, Sidcup gathered underneath the post and rightly assessed that this random score against the run of play should be put to the back of our minds. Captain Cooper again combined the dialect of Danny Dyer and the calm leadership of Richie McCaw to lead his team back up the field to start again.

Again Sidcup kicked and chased well, but this time Tring would not find a get-out-of-jail-free card amongst the cold and swirling sleet. After more strong carries from centres Colby and Phil Evans, the ball was spun wide to B Unit capo and Lewi Squad enforcer Sebastien Ellison. Sebastien was particularly fired up for this game. In a difficult week where Sebastien had insulted the honour of 200 cap veteran Colin C****r (Conor Cooper has banned any mention of anyone with his surname… I thought it was a bit vain but it’s not my place to comment), young Ellison found redemption for his crime (some say public service) of removing C****r from another Whatsapp group by scorching up the touchline and sliding in the corner. In the opening act of a fantastic kicking display/exhibition from the tee, Admiral Hardy slotted the conversion and Tring knew why Sidcup 2nd are the most feared side in the Kent Invicta League (disclaimer: this is an opinion of the author of this article. Not a fact). Tring did manage one penalty in response but more touch down medicine was coming their way, thanks again to excellent handling skills and razor sharp finishing from Colin Slayer Seb. Although the author of this article was characteristically well behind play, they think they saw Seb literally foaming from the mouth, screaming at the top of his voice “I am the best winger at the club!” (disclaimer: this did NOT happen. Apart from the try part, it was an excellent finish).
The second act of this dramatic 80 minutes was underway and while the scoreboard may have slowed down, the physicality and skill level of the game did not decrease. Both sides were determined to play open, high tempo rugby despite the conditions, with some huge collisions and tackles, neither side yielding or wilting in the blood soaked mud (nothing sinister happens, just the author of this article sometimes has nose bleeds when he is out of breath). Half time proved only a temporary respite from the chaos. Tring used their collective weight to good effect with two tries from mauls and/or resulting breakdowns close to the try line and to a casual rugby fan, it may have appeared as if Sidcup 2s were finally about to be beaten. However, a few casual penalties to go with his successful conversions from Jim Hardy (bit weird to keep calling him Admiral) meant that Sidcup stayed in the game, like a snake in the grass, waiting for a chance re-take the lead.

That chance came in an entirely unexpected fashion. After Phil Evans returned from the bin after a violent and malevolent high tackle, Sidcup were back to full strength and all they needed was a spark to light the fire. That spark came through the running and stepping of Chris ‘Awful’ Orford and James ‘I’m probably going to get injured today’ Parker. Yes you read that correctly. Do you remember that try Will Greenwood scored for England against Wales in the 2003 World Cup? The one where Jason Robinson took the ball to the line, assessed where the mismatch was and then lacerated the Welsh defensive line with devastating speed and footwork before passing to Greenwood? Well this try was nothing like that. Not even close. So far apart in quality that I’m wondering why I brought that famous Greenwood try up in conversation but this was a fantastic effort from Orford and Parker nonetheless. Showing a dummy to about 18 Tring players, Orford jagged back off his right leg and seemed destined to slide in under the posts. However, the weight of an entire rugby ground full of people’s collective shock weighed him down, falling over himself and stopping 5 metres from the Tring line. Luckily, former Colfes poster boy Parker was on hand to finish off Awful Orford’s masterpiece with a slick finish in the dirt. After this, Tring clearly knew Orford was the dangerman and hit him with a huge shot! Some have said that the author of this article enjoyed watching Orford being hurt and chuckled to themselves, but that is a hurtful lie and probably not true.

Now lay the question; had this breathless phase of play emptied the Sidcup tank and left them vulnerable to a Tring comeback? Another Hardy penalty pushed Sidcup into a lead of 30-26 with around 10 minutes to go and this period of play epitomised every good about this side and this club, from the minis to the vets. If someone missed a tackle, a team mate would rush in and finish the job. No player, no matter how tired or carrying a knock, was going to let Tring cross our line again and Sidcup saw the gain line as their own pride and confidence in each other- not going to be broken. Tring deserve credit for playing right to the end of the game, spinning passes along their own try line in an effort to get around the Sidcup wall but eventually a last error was forced and Sidcup had their win.
This game was more important than a friendly. Along with the 1st XV’s win over Dover, both Sidcup sides remain unbeaten going into the final straight of the season. Credit must go to the coaching and medical staff for once again putting the team onto the pitch in the best possible physical and mental condition, as well as the ground staff for preparing the facilities and pitch in difficult weather. Tring should be proud of some of the rugby they played and the effort their squad put in after a long journey which they did not have to make. Credit must also go to the referee who let the game flow and was clear and consistent in applying any of the laws that he had to. However, it was again Sidcup’s day. Captain Cooper was exceptional around the pitch and in the tackle area, Dan Evans showed extreme calm in the eye of the storm at 10 and Alex Ure distinguished himself at scrum half. What is he good for? Absolutely nothing, but he had a good game in an unfamiliar position and did a job for the team.
The show goes on.

Slim Brady aka Shake it Up, out.