Question of Sport Missed An Opportunity Here

To quote Canned Heat, Sidcup were “On The Road Again” this week and ventured to West Wickham for the rematch against Old Beccehamians. As is the norm now for away matches, much of the pre-match run out was spent clearing broken branches and other hazards from the pitch. A vaguely interesting point is that the Beccehamian 1st XV pitch is currently out of order due to too many local dogs peeing on the posts which have now corroded and recently collapsed. Well, everyone is a critic nowadays I suppose.

For those of you who have not ventured to Corkscrew Hill, the Becs pitches are aligned with a number of football pitches and thus when looking to the west one has a panoramic view of sport for some four hundred yards. This is not an interesting point, but the lack of a wind break means that spectators can get severe wind-chill in the second half and only the valiant would stay to the end of a game. The previous encounter had seen Old Becs win by some 26 – 12 at Sidcup, their side bolstered but what appeared to be nine players returning from injury for the 1st XV squad. With the 1st XV also playing at home Becs seemed a very different side from the team played last October.

The match saw another Sidcup debutante, this time in the sprightly form of Emerald-Isle-Fugitive Odhran Dodd coming into the front row in place of the Mortgage-signing-and-thus-unavailable Andy Hind. Odhran caused much confusion to both sides and his fellow forwards are now practising saying the words “Whale-Oil-Beef-Hooked” in quick succession as a response to anything he says. With mobile, youthful and incredibly dashing Charles Sunley shifting to tight head and gout-riddled Maz Wicks at hooker, the Sidcup front row was a different prospect to the previous encounter. Second rows Kevin Pooley and Jack “Fozy” Foster completed the front five, with how-is-he-in-the-threes Alec Watson, former Academy player Tom Dunster and the even younger James Parker at 8 making up the Backrow.

The legendary tactical mastermind and tackler of everything that is Matteo Stamato was at scrum with Jon “If Edwards can play there, I’ll have a go” Mitchell at fly half. Sidcup’s own Karl Pilkington, Steve Hancox once again leapt for joy at the prospect of playing centre alongside his nemesis Joel Leighton. (Please note that Joel is only Steve’s nemesis in that he is youthful, cheerful, has hair, a bit of pace and that he seldom is seen without a smile on his face.) Charlie May and John Crook were this week’s “most likely to freeze to death and never see the ball” wingers with the increasingly youthful skipper Ian Stephens at fullback. The subs bench featured the usual unlikely to turn up on time crew of T. Crisp, L Frondigoun, D Clay, N Smith alongside the usually punctual D Camble and Matt Brunt. Bit of a long intro, but then the game itself ventured between crap and scrappy at best with the occasional moment of hilarity so thought I would flesh the intro out a bit.

The first half saw Sidcup playing up hill with the swirling wind in their 22 and much of the first exchanges were spent with the home side trying to batter their way into the Sidcup 22”. Sidcup defended the kick off in their usual nonchalant manner, leaving the player nearest the ball (in this instance Maz) open to attack from all sides and that pretty much set the tone for the opening encounters. Bec’s tried to use the wind to hoist hanging kicks on the Sidcup defence, but over ran it most times and Messrs Stephens, May and Leighton demonstrated surprising confidence under pressure. Indeed, the Sidcup defence was solid without great effort though Maz Wicks did defy the laws of physiques when felling one of the Old Becs forwards who resembled a tank. Indeed, when comparing the two packs of forwards, not just in this game but most of the threes encounters, we do seem to be giving away a hell of a lot of height, weight and bulk yet seem to have superior technique and in some (though not many) cases fitness.

Solid defence forced a knock on and from an excellent scrum on their 22” Mitchell hoisted the ball up hill to the force the Bec’s to concede a lineout on their 10”. The opening lineouts functioned well and after some to-and-fro drives in the middle of the pitch, the visitors were awarded a penalty for offside. Mitchell, quick as flash, tapped and went right into space before feeding the ever-present Watson who wrong-footed the opposition cover to sprint in under the posts. May, still early in the match and hyperthermia-free slotted the conversion. An early score is excellent for settling the nerves but in some cases can cause them to settle to the point of apathy and from the restart it was Kevin Pooley’s turn to feel outnumbered and fumble the ball when faced with three opponents. By way of apology, his fellow forwards made a contrite effort in the next scrum and destroyed the opposition put in, much to their shock.

The game descended into a pattern of Old Bec’s getting hands on and disrupting Sidcup at the ruck and maul and the Old Bec’s backs not posing much of a threat at all. Neither side really gained the upper hand for any period of time, with Sidcup looking the better of the two yet still managing to thwart their efforts at pivotal movements… Dodd driving in at a lineout, Sunley looking too posh and penalised accordingly and Pooley looking shifty and thus accused of hands in the ruck. A fantastic clearance kick from Mitchell saw centre Hancox somehow beat much younger teammates to the chase and flatten the opposition winger into touch on the 22”. The lineout once again functioned well and the ball was moved to the midfield where Leighton was always looking a threat. Having drawn the defence to the left, the ball was spun right to Crook who drew his opposite number and then almost set up a try for the opposition by trying to move the ball back left to his fellow backs. Fortunately, the ball was knocked on by the potential intercept-ee and Sidcup were still on the attack. Again Sidcup moved the ball from left to right, theoretically a marvellous idea unless the opposition forwards are too tired move either way which was much the case. A sequence of good endeavour came to end when it was a Sidcup forwards turn to knock. …And thus went the half.
Around 25 minutes in the game, the effervescent Parker put in an excellent tackle and from the resultant ruck it became apparent that he had been injured in the process. After a sustained period of time and his father’s informed medical assessment (a few pats on the injured shoulder) a nearby physio indicated that a dislocation had probably occurred and Parker was on his way to A&E. Assessing the bench, it was decided that of the options available Tom Crisp was the largest forward available and he was duly sent on to roam the pitch and flatten people, (which he did with aplomb at the next ruck). Dunster, having foolishly declared he had played there once upon a time, was moved to 8.

A penalty brought Sidcup back to within 5 metres of the Bec’s line, but the Sidcup lineout had already lost its rhythm and accuracy. However, the Sidcup scrum was regularly destroying the opposition and if the ball could be got out to the backs, a score seemed likely. But that is a big “if”. Unable to break the Sidcup midfield defence, a chip over the top saw the unusual sight of Crisp running a covering line behind the defence and catching the ball on the charge before galloping up field deep into the oppo 22”. Again, the move broke down as the ball was dropped in the now crowded midfield. With some 12 minutes of injury time, the referee, God bless him, eventually got bored and blew for half time.
With a number of players to use from the bench, it was decided to let Frondigoun take over from Maz at hooker and Dean Clay to take over the freezing on the wing duties from John Crook. Neil Smith took over the “been-around-a-bit-and-therefore-must-be-cheating” role of Kevin Pooley in the row. A few tactics were discussed, concern voiced over James Parker and the maxim “we’ve got this, boys” mentioned to universal approval and before you knew it the game was due to resume.

Playing down the slope, Sidcup started well with Frondigoun once again displaying the enthusiasm (and physique) of Scrappy Doo. Bec’s were pinned back in their 22”, with centre “Happy” Hancox and flanker Watson prevalent in testing the opposition defence. Alongside them, the close-quarters work by the pack of countless pick and drives was a joy to behold. A ruck some ten metres out saw the ball moved right and Sidcup outflanked the cover defence with Stevens crashing over to score. As he says, the man is lethal from 5 yards out and it helps if those yards are downhill. May, having suffered chronic boredom and frost bite on the wing during the first half was unlucky with the conversion attempt.

Once again, a score early in the half can mislead some into thinking that the flood gates would now open, but such optimism is sorely misplaced in third team rugby. The restart was once again a calamity and a penalty offence occurred from which Bec’s kicked their way to a lineout 5 metres out with the benefit of the put in. A threatening situation was soon quelled as the Sidcup pack drove their opponents back at a rate of knots to the 22” and what seemed a three minute long maul of get shoved back- roll the over way,-get shoved back maul ensued with Watson and Frondigoun to the fore in organising the counter defence. Sidcup lost the ensuing scrum but somehow Stamato hassled, hacked through and tackled the opposition attack back another 5 yards.

Soon after, a moment of rugby history that will live long in the hearts of all watching occurred. Stamato again pestered the opposition in conceding a penalty and passed the ball to Mitchell to take. Having executed a quick tap move in the first half, the supporters waited with baited breath to see what majestic trick he had up his sleeve this time. In a moment of pure magic, Mitchell somehow tripped, fell, regained his balance, juggled the ball, caught it and then tripped again to send it flying onto the head of Stamato in less than three seconds. The crowd went wild, with screams of “encore, encore” echoing around the ground and even the opposition were moved to tears of laughter. Crook, from the side line, breathed a sigh of relief that his lofted pass to no-man in the first half had been gazumped as ”gaff-of-the-match”.

Somehow, despite all their efforts to keep themselves in trouble, Sidcup found themselves awarded an attacking scrum on the Beccehamian 22” with the blindside looking as crowded as the Serengeti. A solid scrum saw Dunster break from the base and seem very hurt when no support offered itself and thus a twenty metre jog ahead of him was in the offing. Despite the best intentions of the cover defence and his refusal to run at no more a speed than can be described as a good canter, Tom eventually fell over the line and Sidcup were now 17 – 0 ahead. The neglected May was once again invited to take the kick but with his leg seized up through lack of involvement the conversion never threatened the posts. The subs were itching to get on and thus Dangerous Camble took to the field in place of the slightly hang over recent birthday boy Jack Foster (not sharing info with the team and not inviting them to share in the frivolities? Tsk Tsk) and Matt Brunt coming on in the centre for the ever-aging Hancox.

Bec’s were down but not bowed, their ebullient Number 8 a constant threat, breaking from the base, causing havoc at the mauls and marshalling his pack to constant effort. Alongside this threat, Sidcup had to cope with the Stamato kicking 22” drop outs straight into touch and flyhalf Mitchell, having already demonstrated a 50 yard boot, deciding to chip the ball over the top to the opposition to keep jus in our 22”. Teasingly, one such chip from the opposition seemed certain to lead to score before Leighton flew out of nowhere to beat the pursing Bec’s horde to the ball.

Finally Sidcup returned to the attack but again their continuity was broken as flanker Watson was asked to withdraw due to blood around the eye (either that or he was wearing mascara.) By now, the sky was grey and the wind chill has risen to such an extent that the substituted players were begging to return to the (locked) changing room. Seizing the opportunity to inject some mirth, it was decided that Steve Hancox should return to the field to spread some warmth and good humour to all. Watson, though asking for treatment and appearing keen to return to the fray, was told to rest and allow us the chance to give Hanky something else to moan about…though he did play awfully well in his favourite position. With the sky turning an apocalyptic grey, the game even drew to a close and Sidcup recorded their second away win of 2014 to go alongside their unbeaten at home record. Hopefully, if the weather continues to drown the pitches, we could be unbeaten all season!

Alongside Mitchell’s moment of madness, other highlights of the game included Odhran Dodd continually looking to the side line and asking if he was being subbed yet, Tom Crisp flattening anyone he could find and Dave Camble running in the right direction. Well done all!

Next week… We are at home to Old Dartfordians (rearranged fixture from early January). 2.00 kick-off, 12.45 meet. Hopefully, as this is a home game, I will not be texting the postcode to anyone Saturday morning.