TO Quote Tight Fit... "A Win, Away!"

Firstly, on behalf of Sidcup RFC, may I extend our admiration to the gentleman of Southwark Rugby Club. It is hard enough keeping a club with 130 years of history going and fielding 3 sides on a Saturday, so to start a new rugby club in a football stronghold and achieve the same is testament to the hard work and dedication of these guys. Playing good quality rugby, in the traditional spirit and with a never-say-die approach has created an oasis of the Union game in the heartland of ….
As with most away games, the preparation was not ideal with a number of playing demonstrating the geographical understanding of Mark Thatcher in the Sahara Desert. As kick off approached, the frantic phone calls to missing and lost players were only alleviated by the fact that the referee couldn’t find the place either. Before the match was a throwback to the origins of rugby, when players changed in whatever facility was available and then gathered there belongings and walked across the road to get to the pitch.

The pitch itself seemed to be marked out for rugby and possibly the daft, four-hours-to-play an hour of “sport/prancing about” that is American Football. There was an eerie silence about playing the playing arena (despite the efforts of the noble Sidcup support) and with scrum half Tom Harrison out injured, there were no load cries of “oh for xxxx sake” or “sorry” punctuating the sterile atmosphere. Third team man-for-all positions, Stamato, at scrum half in place of the injured Tourettes-suffering Harrison, commented that the pitch wasn’t very long, which prompted one wag to ask, “Why? Do you intend to run the length of it?” The pitch also seemed to be deceptively narrow, as fly half Edwards demonstrated at the kick off by sending the ball straight into touch. Away games are a funny business at 3rd team level, with players seemingly having trouble with jet lag and altitude changes, so the dedicated crowd of three fathers, four subs and a chain-smoking manager did not expect much from the first 20 minutes.

From the errant kick off, Southwark Rebels (SR) opted for the scrum on the half way and a miracle happened; the scrum went slightly forward and hooker Heath “took-one-against-the –head” (Not James Head). The Sidcup backline, though gobsmacked, attacked and from the resultant ruck SR were penalised for either hands in the ruck, playing the ball on the floor, offside or one of the other things that seemed de rigeur on Saturday. Edwards kicked to the corner, Heath and either Foster or Parker combined well at the lineout and after some gentle pushing in the maul the ball was spun to Calahane making his debut in the centre, who demonstrated his modus operandi by charging headlong at the biggest guy he could find. The ruck was quick, Parker took a run at the defence and made good ground, the ball was spun again and Leighton cut a swathing line to break the first-up tackle and jog round under the posts to score. Edwards, atoning for the kick off, slotted the conversion. Three minutes in and Sidcup were 7 – 0 up.

With Christmas nearly upon, Sidcup then set about creating homage to classic Christmas Day films. From the kick off, the pack paid tribute to Spielberg’s “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” by standing frozen still, staring at the sky and not moving until the thud of the ball awoke them from their stupefaction. Despite this, Sidcup were soon back on the SR 22” with an attacking lineout. A great collective effort saw the pack drive 17 metres before being stopped; Hind and Hancox surged from the back and having been stopped just short of the line decided to give away a penalty to holding on to the ball on the floor. The respite was only temporary for the hosts as Sidcup were soon winning another lineout and after some crash balls and quick rucking, Calahane popped up again this time running a bit of an angle before charging over people and over the line to score. Edwards, still atoning for the kick off, slotted his second conversion. 14 minutes in and Sidcup were scoring at a rate of a point a minute.

Again from the restart, the five note “do, do, do do, DOOOOOO” sequence from “Close Encounters…” seemed to be in the air, along with the ball and much faff-age ensued. A penalty was awarded to the hosts and Southwark finally got their hands on the ball. Some direct running bought them almost up to the try line, with a great tackle from Calahane and some frantic scramble defence from Sidcup just doing enough to keep them out. The hosts were growing in confidence and seemingly slightly more switched on than the visitors, who at times seemed to be impersonating the scarecrow from the “Wizard of OZ”.

Sidcup managed to clear their lines and fought back to the half way line, when slow ruck ball allowed Stamato to use Parker on the charge. With most of the opposition defence haring up from amazingly close to the back foot, Parker charged through the close-to-the-ruck “guards” and sped to the line to score, handing off several scrambling defenders in his wake. Edwards the Atoner again slotted the kick. Twenty three minutes gone and Sidcup were 21 – 0 to the good, with some good individual work masking a lack of cohesion and some daydreaming.

The second quarter saw either Southwark in the ascendancy or Sidcup drop their level of concentration, which was already at about “vaguely attentive” and plummeted to “Mr Bean personified”. The restart this time was gathered, eventually and from the resultant ruck Mizen sped in from the outfield bellowing a-la-Brian-Blessed for a long pass to take the ball on the crash which Edwards duly sent. Seeing two former 1st XV players combine should have given the watching Academy players something to inspire to. Instead, the pass was iffy, the ball fumbled and the home side picked up the loose ball and duly ran through virtually unopposed to score. With twenty-five minutes gone, the score was Sidcup 21 – 5 Southwark.

The last fifteen minutes of the half drifted chaotically, Sidcup were under-committing to the rucks and planning phases before they had won the ball cleanly. Hooker Heath appeared to be suffering from concussion (or delusions) as he spent most of his time on the wing expecting a try scoring pass. Due to the lack of bodies at the breakdown, Sidcup were conceding penalties for handling in the rucks and from one such infringement, the defence was too slow to realign at the ten metre mark and the hosts scored again. The conversion was successful and at the half time whistle the score was 21 – 12 to Sidcup.Having scored three tries in relatively quick time, Sidcup seemed to be unsure how to hammer home a lead and duly allowed their opponents back into the game far too easily. Southwark at times appeared to be doing their best to keep Sidcup in the lead with their biggest runner using some interesting up-and-under kicks.

At half time, a brief discussion was held on the best second half approach, with maybe extracting craniums from rectums a popular option. However, three minutes into the second half and some good hands and swift running saw the home side score and convert another try and a 21 point lead was now a 2 point lead with the score at 21 – 19. Sidcup were shocked into action and duly won a penalty just outside the opposition‘s 22” and Edwards slotted the points to make it 24 – 19 and allow some breathing space. Realising that breathing was becoming a bit of a problem for some of the players (and enthused by the fact the largest Southwark player had now left the pitch injured/fatigued) Sidcup began to ring the changes. Firstly, Academy player Marcus Willing come in to replace Kev Pooley in the second row, thus making the pack 5 stone lighter in one swift move.

From the kick off, James Head hit a great tackle on the catcher and Sidcup appeared to have woken up. With an extra option in the lineout and added mobility about the pitch, Sidcup were still very disjointed and dotted about the pitch in a vague defensive line. The game ebbed and flowed with token moments of ascendancy for both sides immediately followed by calamity. The penalty count continued, as both sides allowed their opponents to get within striking distance only for the attackers to then commit an offence and the ball to be cleared; Messrs Calahane and Hancox seeming guiltiest at the rucks.

A penalty to Sidcup on the halfway line was hoofed by the nimble-footed Edwards into the SR 22”. Once again the lineout was excellent, as it had been all day with Fozy, James Parker and now Marcus Willing working well. The catch and drive was orchestrated by Mizen (in fact, like a conductor he was at the front of the maul, gesticulating what to do and not seemingly doing much himself) and the pack trundled to within 5 metres of the SR line before being stopped. The ball was shipped through the hands and after a quick ruck in midfield Edwards found Leighton again getting his angles right (twice in a game isn’t bad) and the visitors recorded their fourth try of the match. The ever efficient Edwards was successful again! Score 31 – 19 to the ‘Cup.

Trudging back from the try, Steve Hancox resembled the shuffling ET in the” nearly dead” part of the film and was replaced by the hell of a lot more spritely looking Bill Ramdhan. Ramdhan was immediately brought into the game at the kick off as the ball was yet again watched until it landed behind most of the pack. A slight side step was then followed by a “head down/charge forward approach” and Bill had made the adjustment from Academy to third team player in seconds.

Southwark refused to give up but stout defence from the back three triumvirate of May, Stephens (still quite quick, bless him) and Crook had the fringes covered and Head and Ramdhan put in some crunching hits around the second phase area. Willing was working his heart out, which was handy as others were coughing their lungs up. Eventually, a conceded penalty, a quick tap and slow reactions in defence allowed Southwark another chance which the duly took to bring the score back to 31 – 26.

With 20 minutes to go, Foster and Head were obviously too injured or exhausted to continue and but the legend that is Dave Camble and the Smiling Assassin that is Charlie Lush (who had earlier commented on how knowledgeable his father was about the game of rugby). Lush soon set about tackling anything that moved and throwing himself into rucks and mauls and Camble was haring around the pitch at pace and every so often in the right direction. With Heath and other forwards lurking on the wing, Crook seemed to have rucked and mauled himself to a standstill and was replaced by the deceptively pacey Clay on the wing. Again Southwark were back on the Sidcup 5 metre line, but another great take from Parker allowed Stamato to clear the danger again, Clay and Leighton performing a pincer defence from wing and centre and Sidcup were back into SRFC territory.

The last ten minutes were a test of character; would the Sidcup pack now containing three Academy players be able to compete with the Southwark forwards? Oh yes they would! Sidcup were still a little loose at the breakdown but managed to win enough ball to cause the opposition concern and force them to concede penalties. Sidcup kicked their way into the Southwark 22” and worked a number of moves from both forwards and backs. Though their efforts were often frustrated they were doing the wise thing and keeping their opponent’s 80+ metres from their own try line. With the clock ticking down, a number of drives and rolling mauls seemed to be stuck at the Southwark 5 metre line before Andy Hind, picked and drove down the blind side and over 2 defenders before manfully grounding the ball over the line to score. Who knew he could do that? Or was it just a guilt thing having been pinged for being 15 metres offside earlier in the half (his father’s words, or some of them at least). Edwards’ effort drifted just left of the post, but stayed on the pitch unlike his kick off. 36 – 26 to the visitors. There was not enough time left for Southwark to score twice but they attacked anyway but Sidcup’s defence was resolute. The game ended and the Great Escape had been made!!

Plaudits go to Fozy and James Parker for some fantastic work in the lineout, not only securing their own put in but stealing some of the opposition’s ball as well. Heath hooked well and took a couple against the head. Ramdhan seemed to relish the physicality when he came on and certainly made a good impression. Lush and Willing again acquitted themselves well and look good prospects for the future. Edwards and Stamato did exceptionally well considering their advancing years and Calahane and Leighton posed the oppositions defence some tricky questions.

And so to the last game before Christmas, away to Old Alleynians, 12.00 meet at Sidcup or 1.00 at their ground. We are almost halfway through the season and time for tired bones to have one last outing before the festive break. Good news is… with Trevor Pooley’s daughter’s ballet recital only running for one week, he should be back available… as should Liam Frondigoun. Charlie Hine, Maz, Tom Dunster are up for a run out. After Christmas…Nick King, Brent Reid, Colin Bentham, Glenn Ennals, Neil Smith, Steve Burke, Matt Brunt, Matt Floyd, Tom Harrison, Chris Neal and maybe even Dan McNally will be back to help the cause!