Meetings, paperwork, finances, John the bar, emails from Jonesy, and someone spending too
much on players’ stash last season! These are just a few of the things the committee at Sidcup
has to deal with each year. That’s on top of the RFU, Kent RFU, referees, and any other
organisation that seems to want something done last minute.

This season sees some big changes to the committee - no one’s changed roles, it’s just that
they’ve all joined the Crossfit gym, which means their names now change to:

- Crossfit Ian (Anderson)
- Crossfit Dave (Price)
- Crossfit Scotty (McLean)
- Crossfit Vinny (Snr & better fun than Jnr)
- Paul Edwards — Paul said you’re never getting him anywhere near anything with the word “fit”in it.

These people are the engine room that lets our club function

Random TRUE fact - Pricey & Scotty always celebrate a first team win with a banana milkshake - so much so that the bar now sells it as a mock-tail - Just ask for a “McPrice”

? The Groundo – Grass Whisperer

Jay’s been here just over a season and the pitches have never looked better. While some clubs
pamper a pitch that’s only used a dozen times a year, ours takes a battering, playing four times
as many games, plus training and still looks great come May.

Jay’s a lad who loves a good laugh and a joke — it helps being a Spurs fan… but he takes one
thing really seriously, and that’s GRASS. The other day he spoke to me for an hour about the
optimum length of grass needed for rugby - It really helped me have one of the best sleeps in
years!!.

The secret ingredient? Jay uses quality H2O from the Sidcup springs; they say it has minerals that rival Peckham’s. Add in top-class seed, machinery, and Jay’s hard work, and you get pitches to be proud of.

?️ The Food – No Vol-au-vents Here

I still haven’t forgotten the club that served us vol-au-vents and mini quiches for the after-match meal some years ago (crossword clue time: large musical instrument & name of Millwall’s ground), only to come to us and get ham, egg and chips.

Think of food words like poached, confit, and amuse-bouche — you will see none of that at
Sidcup, but what you will get from Lee, James, Laura and the crew is hot, hearty, proper rugby food

What can we say about Lee? He’s a man of few words, but that’s only when dealing with Jonesy or other clubs’ Jonesy's.

This season we are going to be pushing to get more people to our pre-match lunches before the first team games. If you are part of the minis & juniors?, maybe a group of former players and parents?, or looking to entertain work colleagues or clients?, the lunches are always great fun and value for a day out. Look out for details in the coming weeks on how you can book
seats/tables.

? The Bar – Perfect Pints & Yoda Vibes

Now, if you’ve ever seen any posts that mention the bar, we always like to poke a little fun at
John, but here are three things about the way John runs the bar:

- Fast service
- A spotless bar
- Perfect Guinness.

John is a barman with a story for every occasion and the ability of Yoda to sense a “disturbance in the force” — we call it music being played in the bar.

On the new season starting, John said:
“I can’t wait for the calm months of the rugby season to begin. I’m so fed up with cricketers trying to stand on chairs and sing, plus don’t get me started on the tennis club always dancing in the Lumley Bar. ”

I did ask the staff who their favourite club member was:

- John said: SBW on a Monday night.
- Laura said: SBW on a Wednesday night.
- Claire said: SBW on a Friday night.

? The Shop – Flash the Stash

The aptly named “Shop Tom” & “Shop Tony” will be back again, ready to clothe everyone. Think Open All Hours mixed with a bit of Are You Being Served? (anyone under 45 just won’t have a clue!).

Sundays just wouldn’t feel the same without Tony rocking some stash and Tom rocking some
Slazenger. Join them every Sunday from 10am for a glass of Chardonnay while trying on the
latest Sidcup fashion.

This season is about “Flash the Stash” — let’s fill social media with pictures of people rocking Sidcup stash.

? The Physios – Spoiling Players Since Forever

The modern (soft) rugby player requires one thing more than anything else and that’s access to physios — be it for strapping, rubbing, or just emotional support.

Pete returns for his “I’ve lost count” season — he’s been around a long time — with his band of
qualified physios: Sarah, Emily and Nathan. Also occasionally stepping in are our current
players Alex Ure and Sam Leek - Alex tries to count these as first team caps when he’s with
the team. Returning for her second season is Dr Gemma Hayes, making Sidcup RFC officially more medically staffed than a small NHS clinic

That’s six physios and a doctor; players are spoiled these days. I can remember when it was
just one physio and a “very” magic sponge — Paul Graham….maybe the OG and best?!

? The Touch Judges – Sidcup Royalty

Let’s start with Hugh Beresford-Webb. Who has been running touch for a very long time. A man of unwavering moral integrity in his decision-making, and we totally respect him for that. He only ever plays it straight down the middle. In his mid-80s, we are pretty sure he’s the oldest TJ in rugby… I would bet on him beating a lot of players in a bronco fitness test. HBW likes nothing better than joining the players on the funbus after a win

Joining him is Sir Paul Bensley of Sidcup, pioneer of the two-man dummy lineout, moustache icon, joggers-over-shorts enthusiast and legendary number 8

? The Sidcup All-Stars: Best of the Rest ?

Linda White is our Lead Safeguarding Officer - She scares me, don’t forget to bring your details for your DBS because she won’t forget, and remember to bow and curtsy in her
presence

Nick Wilkinson is our Coaching Coordinator - Former leader of “Wilko’s 2nd Team Warriors” and graduate of the magic academy. You will find Wilko up the club every Sunday morning supporting the coaches and suggesting to them that under 12’s doing laps is not a good use of time. Was seen the other day without a beanie on!!

Jim Wilson is our First Team Statistician - Jim’s the is the one who knows exactly how many first team games you’ve played and tries you’ve scored. He’s had to ban his son Iain Wilson from using his computer as he kept adding tries to his total…..and looking up sites he shouldn’t have been - hookers.com isn’t a support site for rugby hookers Iain!

Warren Griffith’s is chairman of the Juniors - When I asked him for an update, he said you can read it in this month’s August newsletter - which, judging by tradition, is due out sometime in October.

Disclaimer: Only those who’ve survived one of Jonesy’s legendary three-hour Monday meetings will truly appreciate this.

Mark Dixon is chairman of the Mini’s - See Above

? The Funbus v2 – New Engine, Same Chaos

After the first “funbus” finally ran out of fun (and a working engine), the club invested in a new
bus last season. After a successful trip to Battersea followed by a trip around the Crystal Palace
triangle, the bus came down with an issue the morning we needed to go to Old Tiff’s — that
ended up being an £80 Uber ride.

After two different mechanics, a trip to Halfords for a new battery, plus checking it had diesel, we finally found out the key just needed a new battery.

The bus is now ready to visit the grounds of Regional 2 South East plus Kent Counties 2 and 5.

? The Heart – Why Volunteering Matters

Sidcup RFC has always been more than a rugby club (as have all clubs). We’re a community.
And like every great club, we run on volunteers. Without these, there’s basically no rugby club.

But here’s the thing: volunteering isn’t just about giving — it’s incredibly rewarding. It’s about
belonging to something, and being able to be part of the future

The more people who get involved, the stronger Sidcup becomes. So if you love this club, get stuck in.

You’ll be amazed at how much fun it is to be part of the Sidcup family behind the scenes - even being part of “Jonesy’s 3 hour Monday meetings”!

Maybe you’ve been reading these updates and think “Miz you sound like so much fun to be around, I want in”

We have so many different roles, some require maybe an hours worth or work a week, others
just 11 times a season - roles to suit all

? Want to help out? Speak to any committee member or drop me a message on
07967632520 — we’ll find the perfect way for you to get involved.

Just two updates to go - both coming out next week

Chris “Jonesy” Jones takes centre stage. It's time to hear from The Director of Rugby in what is
titled:

? The DOR – It’s Jonesy…It’s Jonesy…It’s Jonesy

That's followed by me “Miz” saving rugby in what’s titled:

? The HEAD Coach – Saving Rugby with one pint of Coke, pack of Salt & Vinegar &
some Malteser's

Remember rugby's a game, and games are fun!!

Miz